Memories
by Ginger Glinda the Tangerine
Summary: The bohos each remember different things about Angel.


Mimi always remembered the way she smiled. The two of them had spent so many hours of their lives together that Angel's smile was permanently etched into her memory. She'd had so many different smiles: one that meant she was happy, one that meant she wasn't happy but she was being brave, one that meant she was thinking about Collins, one that meant she loved Mimi with all her heart and one that meant she still had enough room in her heart for two.

She hadn't smiled so much in the last few weeks, even the brave smile. She hadn't had the energy. Angel had known the exact number of muscles it took to smile, and had used every single one with gusto. Mimi hated that she couldn't remember that one fact, even though Angel had told her more than once.

Mimi had often wondered why all those muscles in Angel's face hadn't worn out, but eventually she put it down to another way in which Angel was better than the world she inhabited.

…

Roger always remembered the way she talked. The two of them often sat in the loft, or on the roof, and talked about Roger's problems. It amazed him that he had so many to talk about, and that Angel could stand to waste hours discussing them. He also felt guilty that they had never once talked about Angel's problems.

If comforting people had been an Olympic sport, Angel wouldn't even have had to turn up to win every accolade on offer. She never got tired of Roger, which was incredible in itself, as even Roger got sick of Roger sometimes.

Sometimes he wondered how Angel managed to treat everyone like her best friend, even people she'd barely met. Eventually he put it down to the fact that Angel was too good for everyone around her.

…

Benny always remembered the way she danced. When all the joyful Bohemians had danced on the tables in the Life Café that Christmas, he had been transfixed by the amount of life she held in her petite frame. She hadn't cared that every person at Benny's table had hated her and judged her for not being herself and not being afraid to jump on every item of furniture she laid eyes on. She hadn't even really been dancing for them, or against them, like Mark and Collins and Maureen. She had been dancing because she was alive, and surrounded by people who smiled when she and Collins fed each other AZT.

Benny had often wished he could be as carefree as Angel, but eventually he realised that the kind of happiness she felt wasn't something he could fully grasp from behind his desk and under his perfectly knotted tie. Angel could be happier than the world allowed.

…

Maureen always remembered the way she sang. Maybe it was just her theatrical side taking over, as usual, but it seemed to her that Angel was made to be looked at and to be heard. She had been specifically designed to stand out in crowds, and to sing so loudly in the shower that if she'd been even the tiniest bit embarrassed, whole city blocks would have cringed.

Angel used to sing Maureen to sleep after she and Joanne had a particularly vicious fight. Angel didn't judge, she just sat next to Maureen on the bed and sang.

Maureen had once asked if Angel ever thought of herself. She had looked surprised and confessed she hardly ever thought about anything else. Eventually Maureen decided that Angel operated on a slightly different plane to everyone else.

…

Mark always remembered the way she confronted people. She wasn't afraid to get upset and to show other people her misery or her anger. She always showed exactly what she was thinking.

Mark's camera had loved Angel because she didn't act for it. Mark loved filming her because she never did anything by halves. She had an opinion on every issue anyone raised, and it was always extreme. She loved and hated with equal ferocity, something Mark had never been able to do. Angel knew statistics for everything, and was always proud when she managed to slip some into a conversation.

Mark had always wondered how she could remember not only mounds of irrelevant trivia, but also everything anyone ever told her. Eventually he decided she was some kind of superbeing, but when he thought about it he realised it was because she cared much more about everything than should really be allowed.

…

Joanne always remembered the way she hugged. Angel could always tell when someone needed a hug and when they just needed to be told to stop procrastinating and get back together with their girlfriend. She had hugged Joanne so many times that if she'd been anyone but Angel, Joanne would have gotten uncomfortable, but somehow it was natural to be hugged by Angel at every opportunity.

Joanne knew that Angel knew that most of the time, when they hugged, the lawyer was wishing that Maureen's arms were around her instead, but she also knew that that knowledge only made Angel hug harder.

Joanne had often thought about how to tell Angel when she needed a hug, because they always made her problems seem less earth-shattering, but eventually she realised that Angel always knew.

…

Collins always remembered the way she kissed him, and the way she laughed, and the way she played with her wig when she was embarrassed, and the way she told him she loved him. He spent most of his time wondering if she knew that his life wasn't worth living without her, but eventually, she decided that maybe, his life was worth living for her.

She was amazing that way.


End file.
